Valentine's Day: A Not-So-Alternative View
It's Valentine's Day. I thought I'd tell you this, as I am almost certain you won't have heard this from everybody! All satire aside, I'd like to take this opportunity to put a question to my loyal band of readers.
What is it about Valentine's Day that gets everybody so worked up?
Every year, I, and indeed the people I speak to, seem to report the same occurrences: a myriad of inane Facebook statuses that, through years of overuse, have become trite and stale. Each and every year, Twitter is aflutter with people who think they have developed an alternative view of Valentine's Day that is both refreshing and relatable to the masses. While the latter may certainly be true, as the masses are usually willing to adopt any view or way of thinking that gains them a 'like' or a retweet, the perception that their whimsical retort is original or fresh is, not only very arrogant, but also incorrect.
Indeed, some remarks are let down simply by the blatant lack of the knowledge the author displays in their writing. "Ah, valentines day. The biggest load of American s*** so people can exploit their relationships and make everyone else depressed" was a comment I happened to stumble across, posted by one of my Facebook chums. Poor grammar and lack of capitalisation aside, the simple fact that the author attributes Valentine's Day to American origin, means that you can disregard the entire statement.
For those of you who know anything about the history of Valentine's Day, you will know that it does not originate from America. It in fact originates from Rome. You will also know that the name Valentine does not refer to just one saint, but fourteen martyred saints. The two who are honoured on February the fourteenth are Valentine of Rome and Valentine of Terni (at least according to Wikipedia), although this fact is irrelevant to the point of my article.
The first attachment of Valentine's Day to romance was not made until the High Middle Ages, by Geoffrey Chaucer, who was an Englishman from the fourteenth century. "By the 15th century, it had evolved into an occasion in which lovers expressed their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards (known as "valentines")." Or so says Wikipedia.
It would be preferable to remember that in the fifteenth century, there did not exist any ASDA supermarkets or Thornton's confectionaries (or indeed any other suppliers). Instead, people had to make due with what they could get away with. There was no need to buy into commercialism or consumerism. People expressed their love simply because they could, and because they wanted to.
"Ah," I hear you cry smugly, "but shouldn't people who love each other, love each other all year round, not just on one day?" And the answer, of course, is yes. And I believe that the many people who are in happy relationships and those who are married, do love each other, even when they do occasionally argue. However, in a world where one must always be weary of the report that must be done, or a university essay that has to be finished, or a deadline that must be met, sometimes love can take the back seat. Sometimes, love needs to be ushered forward and is it not a good thing to have a day that is recognized nearly all over the world, whose sole purpose is to do just that?
I also know of those who, in their cynical and megalomaniacal attitude, wish heartache and discouragement on others simply because they themselves are not in a happy relationship. These people, it saddens me to say, are selfish and cruel. To deny someone happiness just because you yourself are not happy is one of the most wicked and evil things of which I can think.
Personally, I think a day of love is a wonderful thing. A day of the year that promotes love and compassion? And people want to criticise it? I can understand people's reservations about the holiday. Their perception is that they are asked to spend a great deal of money and time, investing in a grand bouquet of flowers, a lavish box of chocolates and an ostentatious card covered in so much glitter and sparkly things, that it is itself enough to make Ke$ha weep with emotional heartache at the pure tackiness and cheap qualities attributed to it.
However, I would argue that you don't need to spend a great deal of money on somebody to show them that you care deeply for them. I would even go as far as to say that you don't need to spend any money. Simply saying "I love you" and meaning it (a very important distinction to make) can be enough. Simply spending an afternoon roaming a park together with your dog or just with each other is more than enough.
To expect luxurious and opulent gifts is to bypass the true meaning of love. Gifts are simply a method of displaying our affection, but when the gifts become tokenistic and superfluous, when the gifts are simply a record of who-gave-who-what or how-much-did-they-spend-on-you, it is then I fear that the world becomes a darker place.
To spend so much time focusing on this bleak perception of love is to dispirit not only yourselves, but indeed all those who happen to glimpse your status or tweet, and is to cast a negative shadow over the splendiferous concept of love that just about makes life bearable.
Info » Family & Relationships » Being in a Relationship » Going Out
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3 Comments – Postiwch sylw
Sprout Editor
Rhoddwyd sylw 3 mis yn ôl - 14th February 2012 - 17:00pm
I love the picture ;)
tommy b
Rhoddwyd sylw 3 mis yn ôl - 16th February 2012 - 16:32pm
I agree totally... it's only a load of consumerist nonsense if you subscribe to that kind of thing. Otherwise it's a day to celebrate the love in your life or to reassess why you haven't got any love in your life if that is the case.
emb789
Rhoddwyd sylw 3 mis yn ôl - 22nd February 2012 - 03:51am
That's a great way to phrase it, Tommy - the way most of my facebook "friends" have been acting this year, it's a day when single people bitch and moan about being single. The question is, if you're spending so much complaining, can you really be surprised if nobody wants to speak to you more than is necessary?
Of course, there are also the coupled people, who post annoying statuses about how much they love their "boo" or "baby gurrrrl" (any less than three r's in gurrrl, and the relationship is failing). But this year, what seemed to be the main focus of the people on Facebook whose statuses I actually care about was the Mass Effect 3 demo being released. It's brilliant, I highly reccomend it!